Having the courage to be disliked

Today’s piece is an excerpt from chapter 34 of my new book, The Never-Retired Writer.

It’s about one of the biggest forces holding writers back from the work they actually want to make.

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When I first started writing in public, I’d feel a twinge of sadness mixed with anger when receiving a negative comment or losing a follower.

I’d see someone unsubscribe from my newsletter, take it personally, and spend the rest of the evening sulking.

But over time, I realised this was an inevitable part of the journey. If you want to grow as an authentic and bold writer, being disliked is unavoidable.

Not everyone will like what you have to say. This is good because when you’re polarising, you will attract the right readers, those who align with your personality and values, and repel those who aren’t right for your brand.

This means you craft the kind of brand that expresses who you really are, bringing the right people.

Bold, honest writing stands out. Playing it too safe won’t resonate with anyone, but most of all, it will be felt as regret by you.

The warrior’s path is when you take a stand for what you believe, and say it, even if it could hurt some feelings or attract criticism. It’s also the best path, because if you’re building a brand based on a fake you, what are you actually building?

You’re here to make an impact and leave a legacy. A legacy is built by fearless leaders, not by those looking to be liked by everyone.

Fear of judgement is the single most significant and common force holding writers back. We’re wired to fear banishment from the tribe. But this is something you must find the courage to push against.

Take small steps. You will get better at handling criticism. You develop resilience here by doing things, not worrying about things.

Recognising this as an expected part of your growth and success will help you do what you need to do, which is to write anyway. This will give you an edge over other writers.

Your strongest supporters will emerge when you write with conviction, particularly things most don’t have the courage to say.

This is when you get those diehard fans. An audience that contains a large chunk of people who rave about your work is what you want most of all. This comes from being bold, bringing your whole self to your writing, and speaking assertively and with personality.

Don’t worry if much of your audience doesn’t seem so vocal about your words, either. Many are lurking in the shadows. They are benefiting and prodding their friends to read, too.

The goal is not to provoke for the sake of it. It is to write what you truly believe because you know that those willing to listen will benefit immensely from your stories, ideas, and solutions.

Even if some people don’t like it.

Your voice becomes magnetic when you own your own perspective. People are looking for people who can lead them. You are the answer.

Having the courage to be disliked will set you apart in a sea of vanilla writers.

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That was chapter 34 of 62 of my just-released book, The Never-Retired Writer.

The rest goes deep into how to build a writing life, from finding your topics and growing your newsletter, to the 12 ways I’ve made money from writing over sixteen years.

The book is on Amazon now. Grab it here. (I appreciate it).

Alex

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